


Relative Dimension

by SoongTypeDisaster



Category: Doctor Who
Genre: Crossover, Gen, Parallel Universes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-19
Updated: 2014-11-19
Packaged: 2021-02-26 00:53:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,816
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21634693
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SoongTypeDisaster/pseuds/SoongTypeDisaster
Summary: An uninvited guest from another universe appears on the TARDIS. Much sass ensues.Also, bananas.





	Relative Dimension

**Author's Note:**

> Fan fiction inspired entirely by a stray thought about how amusing it would be to watch my OC Garnet and the 9th Doctor try to out-sass each other. Very dialog-heavy, this was mostly me getting some nonsense out of my system.
> 
> Hopefully you don't need too much of Garnet's backstory to enjoy the story (it has changed at least a dozen times since I created her in my childhood in the 90s anyway). I have yet to decide if her other works are being ported over to AO3. There are some brief references to the Infinite Spiral webcomic. Infinite Spiral and its related universe belong to my sister but as we sort of created it together I have permission to play in it.
> 
> Also, apparently the Wisen live on the Isla de Muerta of the Spiral universe.

She had ported herself out of Oblivion just in time. Garnet had never seen anything but the living shadows there before now. Wherever that thing had come from…

"Hello!"

Her thoughts interrupted, she spun around to see an unfamiliar man staring back at her, looking politely confused. Her first impression was that he at least had decent taste. The leather jacket was totally something she'd wear. But there was something strange about this guy. She usually managed to avoid other people when she moved around.

"Who the hell are you?"

The smile faded from the man's face quite suddenly. All business now. "I could ask you the same question. How'd you get in here?"

"That depends on where 'here' is. And on _who the hell are you?_ "

The man didn't answer for a moment, and Garnet stepped backward as he abruptly chivvied her out of the way, rushing past to mess with a bunch of levers and dials in the center of the circular room they were in. Was this some kind of ship?

"Flying around through time and space and somehow you just happen to appear out of thin air on my ship." Yup. Ship. Got it. "I'll ask the questions here, thanks." The man gave a sarcastic little smile. Who did this guy think he was anyway?

"Chill out, big ears. I wasn't aiming for your ship. I sit in the middle of Oblivion trying to work, and some blue box starts flying right at me out of nowhere. I just ducked out to get anywhere other than in the path of that thing."

"Well, you missed."

"Excuse me?"

"You're about as far _in_ the path of that blue box as you can be. Make yourself useful and pull that lever, would you?"

"Wha—?"

"Just pull it. Thank you."

Garnet's jaw dropped as realization dawned on her. "Wait… _this_ is the blue box?" He nodded. "But it was a lot smaller than—" He nodded again. "So it's—"

"Bigger on the inside, yes. If you're not going to help, get out of the way, please."

Garnet took another step backward, though her eyes had narrowed. There was only one place she knew of that was bigger on the inside. "You're not a Wisen, are you? Is this one of the Wise Man's stupid jokes?"

"Refresh my memory. Who's he exactly?"

Garnet snorted and shook her head. "Oh hell, you're no Wisen. Even if you _were_ dumb enough to almost crash into my work, you wouldn't have forgotten who Faceless is." She paused, staring at him. "Does that stupid trick actually work on people?"

"Usually, yes."

"Wow, people are idiots." She began to walk in a slow circle, staring around at everything. This wasn't like any ship she'd ever seen.

The man, in turn, was staring at her. "These Wisen… are they chasing you?"

"Something like that." Garnet stopped her pacing to face the man. "You gonna tell me who you are?"

"I'm the Doctor."

"Doctor who?"

"Just the Doctor. Why does everyone always ask that?"

"Well, normal people have names."

"So what about this Wise Man character?"

"Not normal."

"Ah." There was a brief pause in which he appeared to be checking some instruments. Garnet continued to stare.

"So you're a doctor?"

"Yeah."

"A doctor that flies around in a blue box?"

"Yes. All over time and space."

"That's one hell of a house call."

The Doctor turned to face her again. "Well, miss 'normal people have names,' are you going to tell me yours?"

"Yeah," she said slowly, "I really need to get back…"

"Well you can't get out while we're moving."

"I got in, didn't I?"

There was another pause, and the Doctor stared into her face. Then, smiling brightly, "Good point! Off you go, then!"

Garnet swept her hand across the air a few times. Nothing happened.

"Problem?"

She glowered at him. "Would you quit with the sarcastic grin already?"

"How does one grin sarcastically?"

"I don't know, but you manage it. What gives? Why can't I get out? Are you holding me here? You some kinda merc? Look, if this is about that thing on Alexia Nine, that wasn't my fault. I was provoked."

The Doctor raised a brow. "Why, what happened on Alexia Nine?"

"Um… never mind…" Okay, so he didn't know about the war she probably started. If ever there was a need for a change of subject, it was now. He was looking at her as if he could somehow extract the information if he just stared long enough. It was kind of annoying.

In the intervening silence, Garnet thought for a moment that she heard music coming from somewhere. As she began to wander about in search of its origin, the Doctor spoke again.

"You know, I never did get that name."

"Hm? Oh… Garnet…" And now she couldn't hear it anymore. "Where was that music coming from just now?"

The Doctor watched her with renewed interest. "Music? What music?" She didn't answer, and he took a few steps toward her, placing a hand on the massive console in the center of the room and lowering his voice. "Was it coming from here?" He watched as Garnet stepped forward and leaned down, listening closely. Her eyes closed for a moment or two, ear almost pressed to the console.

"It's alive… not quite like the crystals back home, but definitely alive…" She rose at last, opening her eyes. "What kind of ship is this?"

"It's a TARDIS. You're not human, are you?"

"No. And… what?"

"TARDIS. Time and relative dimension in space. T-A-R—"

"Yeah, I got it, sunshine. So I'm stuck here until you get to wherever you're going?"

"Looks that way, doesn't it?"

"And how long is _that_ going to take?"

"No idea. Normally we'd be there by now. Something about you being on board seems to have slowed us down." He pulled something out of his pocket and hovered it over her. Garnet slapped it away—the noise was irritating. "Can’t you control all that energy you're putting off?"

"Not as a general rule, no."

"Well then get away from the controls," he said, shooing her away. "You're interfering with them."

With a grumpy look, Garnet stepped back a few feet. The Doctor fixed her with a piercing gaze that she took to mean she wasn't far enough. She rolled her eyes and wandered up a bare staircase. She reached the top and raised an eyebrow at what she saw. Before she could say a word, however, there was a triumphant yell from below. Garnet peered over the edge of the platform and he motioned her down.

"You can come back now. We're here."

Slowly Garnet descended the steps, pointing jabbing a thumb back over her shoulder. "What's with all the bananas?"

"They're good for you. Have one if you like."

"I'll pass…" She pointed at a set of double doors. "This is the way out, then?" Garnet pushed one of the doors open, then immediately slammed it shut. Something had shot at her. Something that looked like a nubby wastebasket with a plunger and an egg beater. She cracked open the door again, pulling a gun from her pocket and shooting at random.

"What was that?"

"Dunno but it's dead now," said Garnet, pushing the door open the rest of the way and stepping out. The Doctor followed, staring at the empty hole now seaming itself back together in the air outside the doors. He nodded toward the gun Garnet was still holding at the ready. She pocketed it hastily.

"Where did you get that?"

"Stole it."

"You shouldn't have that…"

"Nobody should have it. Better me than _them_."

The Doctor stared at Garnet as though he were just now seeing her properly. He did not look pleased. "Who's 'them'?"

"The Wisen."

He stepped back to the doors, pointing into the ship with a stern look. "Alright. Back into the TARDIS. You've got some explaining to do."

But Garnet was already setting up to leave. "Sorry, Dumbo. This is where I get off." And before the Doctor could protest (or complain about the nickname), she had gone.

"Damn does that guy ask too many questions." Garnet headed up the steps to the doors of a mansion she'd been to a million times. The house that served as a front for the Wisen's headquarters in the world where she'd been born. But the doors would not open. "The hell?" She pounded on the doors, but nobody answered, so she reached into her pocket for the gun, meaning to port herself inside. That thing was frequently more accurate than trying to move on her own power.

But her pocket was empty.

"That jerk…" She reached into her other pocket, pulling out the strange device the Doctor had used on her and examining it. "Good thing I nicked this, then. Whatever the hell it is…" Not having any idea what it was or how to use it, she abandoned her attempts to open the door for now, thinking she could at least go to the Asylum and badger Lamprey to let her use his phone. But something wasn't right.

"Aw, crap."

It was the right town, but the wrong time, she was sure of it. Some of the buildings looked the same, but some were missing. Not built yet. The Wise Man had shown her how to travel in space and between realities, but she could not yet travel in time without him. If she was in the wrong time, that was a problem. Garnet grabbed a random passerby, who shrieked with fright. "What year is it?" The woman did not answer, but jerked her shoulder away from Garnet's grip and scurried away, staring back over her shoulder as though fearful the stranger might follow. But there were no shouts about Wickedness when the woman saw her eyes. And the dress was all wrong… all wrong for the era she was used to.

"Great. That means I have to wait for the idiot to come find me." She sighed and went to sit on the steps, leaning against the doors of the mansion. "Wonder how long it'll take him to realize something's happened."

Suddenly the air was filled with a groaning, wheezing noise. Startled, Garnet looked around for the source, finally spotting the faint outline of a blue box starting to materialize just across the street. She was on her feet, marching toward it as the doors opened. "Good, I can get my cannon back." The Doctor strode out to meet her, stopping a few feet away and thrusting out his hand.

"My screwdriver. Hand it over."

"Oh, is that what this is?" She pulled it back out of her pocket, twirling it around in one hand. "How is this a screwdriver?"

"It's sonic. Now give it back. …Dumbo? Really?"

"Let it go, dude. Give me back my cannon." The Doctor made a grab for the screwdriver, and Garnet raised it over her head, dancing out of his reach. "Give me mine, I'll give you yours."

"You said yourself it isn't yours," he insisted, pulling the little gun out into view. "This should be destroyed."

Garnet rolled her eyes. "Dude, don't make me set you on fire. I don’t think these people know about Named Ones yet and I'm not too keen on outing myself. Besides, you can't safely destroy it here. It'd knock off the whole universe if you tried."

"And how many universes have you knocked off to know that?"

They stared hard into each other's eyes for a moment, then Garnet dropped her gaze, snatching the cannon from the Doctor and shoving the screwdriver back into his hand. "Let's not talk about my work, okay?"

"Not talk about—? Those were innocent people! I run into destruction all over the universe thinking some Dalek's gone and escaped, some new alien has come out of the woodwork, and you mean to tell me it was _you?_ "

"Probably not all of it…"

And yet you sit here talking about it like it was nothing!"

The color rose in Garnet's face along with her temper, heedless of the very faint glow that came along with it. "Don't you go trying to make me feel bad for it. Don't you dare! You don't even know…"

"Don't know what? What could possibly justify—"

Garnet spun around, pulling at the neck of her shirt until she could free her left shoulder from the sleeve. "Look at my back. Do you see that mark? I've been doing the Wisen's dirty work for as long as I can remember. My father sold me to their boss when I was four. The Wise Man burnt that mark on me so he can control me. It ties me to him. And sometimes, just for the hell of it, he goes and uses me as a puppet just because he can. I had to learn to stop caring a long time ago. If I hadn't, I…" She shuddered, and the Doctor stepped around her so she had to face him.

"But you do care. You care so much you've tried to shut it off. But you can't, can you? Not really. That's why you run. You're always running, aren't you? Running all the time. You never stop…"

There was a knowing look in his eyes that Garnet couldn't stand. She turned away again. "That… screwdriver… you were scanning me with it. What did it tell you?"

"All the energy you're putting off… it wasn't reading right. Can't have been."

"Are you sure?" She turned slowly, head down. "Your instruments… how many life forms did they read?" Her eyes met his, taking in the shock on his face.

"That's not possible." Garnet continued to watch him, saying nothing. "Oh my God… there's hundreds… What happened?"

"They're only fragments, all of them. I don't even know which one's the real me any more, to be honest. They started me off taking out every other version of me they could find in any universe… every parallel… killed. See, I was taught that Singular beings are superior. I was helping them find out if they could right what they saw as a terrible wrong. Start with one person. Move on to whole worlds. But it didn't work right. The fragments… they wouldn't fuse on their own like we thought they should. So the Wise Man took me outside of time and glued the pieces together, called it success. Now we're building something that can take out whole realities in one go…"

"We? You're helping build it? Are you mad?"

"Maybe. But they have the plans. With or without me it's getting built. But I can try to make sure the coordinates are set so that the first reality, the first timeline we destroy is our own. Wipe everything clean. The Paradox to fix all the others I've created."

"And you're taking yourself down with it. Well I can't let you do that."

"What, you're gonna stop me?"

"I can help you."

Garnet's harsh laughter cut through the air like a knife. "Yeah, like I haven't heard _that_ before."

"But I can. Really. I'm the Doctor, it's what I do. I fix things."

Garnet shook her head. "Take my advice, honey. Get back in your box. Go far away from here. Forget I exist."

The Doctor surveyed Garnet with a critical eye for an endless moment, then grabbed her by the arm, steering her back toward the blue box. "You talk about destroying a universe—a whole universe—and expect me to forget you exist? I don't think so. Back into the TARDIS with you, and stay up on that platform."

She tried to squirm away, but his grip was solid. "You know you're pretty strong for a hobbit." Okay, so she was only a few inches taller than he was. But this guy was really starting to tick her off. Once they were inside, the Doctor pointed wordlessly at the staircase and she grudgingly climbed back up to the little mezzanine that was still half-covered in bananas.

"These Wisen, where do they live?"

"Nowhere."

"Now don't start that. I saw the look on your face. You were trapped. You can't travel through time, can you? So you're stuck unless you work with me. Where?"

"I told you, _nowhere_. No time. No place. They live in the seams. You can't get there unless you already know how, or you can find a doorway. And good luck with that because those are all hidden, locked, and guarded."

"And you weren't able to get back."

Garnet frowned. "No, I wasn't. He wouldn't have locked me out, I haven't tried to kill him lately. The door must not exist yet in this time. But usually they stretch across with no problem… Maybe being in this thing threw me off."

"Well you made it to this place for a reason. Where's the doorway? What year do you need to get to?"

Garnet leaned back against the wall with another roll of the eyes, then reached over and grabbed one of the bananas. She peeled it and spoke between bites. "I still don't have much incentive to help you, you know. You could dump me off anywhere, the Wise Man'll find me and pick me up eventually. It's not like I'd be stuck for long."

"So what, I have to haul you all over time trying to guess where you're from?"

"Knock yourself out, babe. I'm not in a hurry."

"D'you know what I think?"

"No, but I'm sure you're about to tell me."

There was a pause in which the Doctor glowered up at her. Garnet flashed him a triumphant smirk before he continued. "I think I actually made you feel something about what you've done, and you can't stand that, can you?"

"Ah, hell, I shoulda shot you…"

"I've only known once race that can kill without emotion, and they were designed that way. Engineered. Not natural. You’ve been tampered with but not like them."

"Right. And where are they?"

"Wiped out."

"Like my mother's race, then."

"Like mine."

Garnet had been idly tracing a fingernail through the empty banana peel, but now swung her feet underneath her, standing swiftly and charging down the steps. The Doctor stared straight into her eyes and held his ground. Garnet stared back, searching. Finally she pushed the banana peel into his hand.

"I trust you know how to read space-time coordinates, Doctor Fancypants?"

The grin spread back across the Doctor's face. "Fantastic!"

"You're outgunned and outmanned," said Garnet as she returned to her perch. "Don't say I didn't warn you."

The engine whirred to life and Garnet closed her eyes through the familiar sense of motion. It was strange, feeling herself move through time without being surrounded by shadow. But the sensation did not last long. With a horrible lurch, everything seemed to grind to a halt, the jarring motion flinging her (and several bananas) from the platform. She rolled the landing, managing, at least, to avoid breaking anything.

"What's happened?" demanded the Doctor. "Did you touch anything?"

"The hell would I have touched to make it do that?"

The Doctor rushed to the doors to see where they'd stopped, but Garnet froze. The walls had begun to darken.

"Wait! Don't open that!"

The Doctor stopped and looked slowly back over his shoulder. A disembodied voice echoed from the walls, every shadow seeming to pulse with it.

"How interesting. I would have expected you to let him walk out into the void. You're going soft, _Athena_." A hooded figure seemed to materialize out of the darkness, hovering high above their heads. "Tell me, what are you doing with this man?"

"Well gee, boss, I thought I'd take a break working on the cannon and go on holiday. What's it look like I'm doing? You locked me out. I needed a way home."

It was here that the Doctor interjected, looking only mildly perturbed by the appearance of yet another stranger inside his TARDIS as comprehension dawned on him. "Ah, so you're this Wise Man character she's been on about. The one having her build this thing that can tear up reality."

There was a drawn-out sigh from above, and the Wise Man drifted closer to the floor. "Is that what she told you? This woman is a thief and a liar. It's a wonder she hasn’t murdered you yet. Hand her over to me and I'll have her dealt with according to our laws."

The Doctor glanced from the Wise Man to Garnet, who was wearing an expression of mingled shock and annoyance. "Right. Tell me another one. Who are you really?"

A low chuckle issues from beneath the Wise Man's hood. "As sharp as your reputation suggests, I see, Doctor. As for who I am… I am the reason for dear _Athena's_ existence."

Garnet snorted. "Oh, don't flatter yourself. And would you quit using my Name in front of everybody? People aren't supposed to know that."

More laughter, and the Wise Man drifted closer to Garnet, taking her chin in one gloved hand. She wrenched it away with a muttered "jerk", which seemed only to amuse him further. "Oh, please, you don't honestly think your father _wanted_ a child, do you? He took quite a bit of convincing as I recall." He turned away from the stricken look on Garnet's face, speaking once more to the Doctor. "I already know who _you_ are. I've heard tales from a delightfully destructive race I'm rather fond of. I will admit, I expected the Oncoming Storm to be a bit more impressive, not some clown in a leather jacket."

The Doctor frowned, his breath seeming to leave him for a beat. "How do you know that name?"

"Come now, it's written in all the histories. The Time War. The Daleks. Surely you don't think you're the only one to have met them and survived?"

"You expect me to believe you just sat down and had a good chat with the Daleks and came away unharmed? Just went for tea, did you? No. Not possible. Can't have. They're all dead."

There was a heavy pause in which the shadows swirled around the Wise Man like smoke. When he spoke again, his voice was nearly a whisper. "Are you certain of that, Doctor? Are you absolutely sure that none of them got away?"

The Doctor fell into silence, which was broken moments later by a derisive snort from Garnet.

"Don't listen to that idiot. He's toying with you." She leaned casually against the wall, eating one of the bananas that had fallen when they stopped. "He likes to play head games. It's his thing. He really needs a hobby."

"What on earth are you eating?"

"It's called a banana, stupid," Garnet said thickly, not yet having swallowed. "You've seen a freaking banana before. So is anybody gonna tell me what a Dalek is?"

"No." The Wise Man turned his attention back to the Doctor. "I ought to kill you now, while I've got you stranded, you know. Only I've heard you're rather difficult to kill. I think perhaps—"

"Blah blah blah," snarked Garnet, cutting off what was sure to be a lengthy monologue by chucking her banana peel such that it landed squarely on the Wise Man's face beneath the hood. "Why d'you always jump straight to killing people? Don't you ever get bored?"

The Wise Man pulled off the banana peel and tossed it aside. "You've no idea of how dangerous this man is. If all I've heard is true, he could ruin our plans."

"Our plans? What’s this 'our'? There's just you coming up with the evil overlord crap and ordering me around."

"As I recall, the cannon was _your_ idea."

Garnet waved this off. "I can't be held responsible for that. I was under the influence of… well… you. For all I know you planted the idea inside my head when I was asleep."

"Excuse me, hello!" The Doctor had stepped forward and was waving for their attention. "Have we decided if we're killing me yet? Because I'd like to get a move on either way."

"Yeah, no, we're not killing you."

"Do you really think you can stop me, _Athena_?"

"Yep. Watch me."

As the Wise Man attempted to move forward, Garnet shoved him back. In one swift motion she had the cannon out and spun a dial on it with her free hand. She shot before the Wise Man could protest, and he vanished as the beam hit him.

"What are you doing using that thing on my TARDIS?"

"Chill out, it'll seal in a sec. Quick, start this thing up before he finds his way back."

"I take it he's not dead, then?"

"Nope," said Garnet, stowing the gun away and pulling something else out of her pocket. "Not that easy to kill. Plus I'd be dead with him if I tried it. Sneaky little trick he pulled. If he dies, I die." She stepped toward the controls, placing a small, circular device on the flattest surface she could find. "Tried shooting just his face with that thing once—I can adjust the beam—nothing. Head didn't even disappear for a second, it just bounced off him."

The Doctor nodded to the device. "What's that?"

"No idea. I just know it can be used to travel." Garnet started to twist a few gears on it until it glowed. "I know I have to set it like this to get home. Or… well… closest thing to a home I've got. It'll help us get there with less fuss." She looked up to find the Doctor staring at her with an expression of mingled pity and curiosity. Something in her chest tightened. He knew. He knew what it was like to be lost. To not have anybody. But that look held something else. She closed her eyes and braced for it.

"You could come with me, you know. Leave your life of crime, or whatever it is. Come see the universe, without having to destroy it for a change."

"It's too late for me."

"I doubt that."

"I'm dangerous."

"So am I."

The look in his eyes was going to drive Garnet mad. He was older than he looked. He had to be. She wondered if he was really all that different from her mother's kind.

"You know," the Doctor continued, taking advantage of Garnet's momentary silence, "you put on the act, but I think part of you really wants to come along. Why don't you just listen to it? Live a little."

Garnet swore under her breath, wishing for an escape route. "He'd follow me. He always followed me. You think I haven't tried running away?"

"Then maybe it's time you started running _toward_ something. Listen, I have to pick up a friend from her mum's house, but I'm sure she won't mind a bit of extra company. Her name's—"

"You can't travel between realities in this thing, can you?" Garnet said abruptly.

"Nobody can without ripping a hole in—" His eyes dropped to her pocket. "Ah. Right."

"The rips are already there. We just know how to travel through them, that's all. Anyway, this friend of yours… live on Earth?"

"Yes, London."

"No Named Ones? No Asylums or reservations for shunting aside 'Wicked' children?"

"Doesn't sound familiar," frowned the Doctor. Garnet plowed right past him.

"Then you're in the wrong reality. You need me to get you back. So, change in plan. I get you to the right dimension to find your friend. Then we can decide if I'm coming with you or going back home. Deal? So… tell me about where we need to be."

* * *

With Garnet's help, the TARDIS made it back to the correct London and materialized on a back street lined with graffiti. The Doctor was grinning as they stepped out. "So, going to come along and say hello?"

"Er… I think I'll wait here if that's alright."

"Probably the right answer. Jackie'd probably try to take your head off just for standing there. And hit me again. I don't like being hit."

"Again?"

"She's a lovely woman."

"Sounds like it. I'll see you in a few minutes, then?"

Garnet waited until she was certain the Doctor was gone, then swiped her hand downward through the air. It was as though a curtain had been parted by the motion, revealing a rough opening through which another place could be seen—the doorstep of the mansion. "Sorry, Doctor," she muttered as she stepped through. "You think you can fix me, but you can't." She closed the hole behind her. "You seem like a nice enough guy. You're safer without me."

Then, bracing herself for the Wise Man's anger, she checked that his device was still in her pocket and pushed open the door.


End file.
